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How To Annoy Your Wife
There are a number of ways for a man to irritate a woman. Sometimes it happens without effort. However, we learn from our mistakes. Moreover, we learn from the mistakes of others. This gives you a road map of an area to avoid. Here are some situations that you may wish to avoid.
Is she sitting outside? Maybe she is enjoying the weather. Perhaps she is talking to someone on the cordless phone. This is the perfect time to start your Poulan chainsaw. It will make a lot of noise. It will also interrupt her phone call. In this way, you can annoy her and show total disregard for her, at the same time. This is called a double whammy.
Another popular method is while she is watching television. She may be taking a break from cleaning the house. If she is watching a movie on her favorite woman's cable channel, the time is perfect. Sit down with her and start to watch the movie. At least attempt to.
You can play the movie bashing game. All you have to do is find things that you do not like about her movie. This will not take long. Complain and ridicule as much as you can. You may point out that the movie is senseless, for example. See how many things you can come up with.
This is a good way to insult her indirectly. You do not come out and ridicule her. However, when you ridicule things that she likes, you poke fun at her. You also make fun of her intelligence level. This can be very insulting to anyone. Is it no wonder that this works so well?
Would you like to insult her and show no regard for her possessions? You can easily accomplish that. Is it time to paint something? There is a good chance of that. Something always needs painting. Here is a good way to get that paint mixer that you need. Walk into the kitchen and use her hand mixer. Do not ask, just do it.
You will now have plenty of time to paint in quiet. You will be undisturbed. She will be at the mall, looking at hand mixers. You perform another dual task. You get a paint mixer and irritate her, with one selfish incident.
After all of this work, you may need some rest. A simple apology will not do, for all of your insensitive behavior. You need a good excuse. An insanity plea is as good as it gets. Get a black helmet. Line this helmet with aluminum foil. Cover the entire helmet if you wish. She will ask you what you are doing. Tell her it is to stop the aliens. You no longer want them to intercept your brain waves. This may buy you some time. It may get you about 48 hours of rest in a nice quiet room.
Summary
If you seek marital harmony, do not try these stunts at home. They are dangerous and should only be performed by a qualified moron. Learn from the mistakes of others.
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